How Wrestlers Can Save The World

Just when you are already on the edge of convincing yourself that the world is becoming an annoying habitat, you happened to watch Batista, The Edge, The Undertaker and other big guys in the TV fighting in and out the ring, almost naked. Then the bells ring and the wrestlers are happily saving the world.

Sorry Powerpuff Girls, the wrestlers are willing enough to save the day. And if you’re thinking they don’t have the chemical X to make them fly and fight the monsters for them to be labeled as “superheroes”, technically, they are still superheroes because they are proudly appearing in public with just their underwear on (like Batman and Superman). Here are my theories on why wrestlers could save the world:

• Since we have problems regarding the world’s higher oil demand and some factories that manufacture clothes offer higher prices for the cost of the production because they are consuming oil for their machines, the majority of the wrestlers refuse to wear any clothing except their underwear. By just wearing underwear, they are encouraging their fans to shop less, which leads to lower production of clothing manufacturers and less consumption of oil. (I am unsympathetic right now, no to shopping as of this moment)

• Wrestlers inflict violence against their enemies without getting them killed (even when they are jumping on each other’s heads and swinging chairs on their faces)- a good influence to terrorists to not kill their enemies. Thus, there will be no more deaths in the world.

• Wrestlers motivate people to eat and take care of their body. Strong and healthy people can build a strong nation. Wrestlers make other people realize that you don’t have to be skinny to be famous. Therefore, there will be no dinner bell to be ignored by people who are considered victims of fashion TV (and other porn videos promoting that sex is only for the skinny girls and lean men).

• Wrestlers teach the world to fight for love- that women are worth fighting for in front of hundreds of people. Thus, the world will be free from acts of cruelty.

Imagine the world becoming a nice place to live in, where people are only wearing their underwear and the terrorists are too busy watching the wrestlers and enjoying their gym equipment for them to make bombs and become suicide bombers. Imagine the no-longer-violent-men buying farm bells to bring back good old memories instead of buying high powered guns and grenades to mark tragic scenes. To all the wrestlers, thank you for saving the world.

PS: You are the reason why I am writing with just my underwear right now. I love the violence.

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