(Written by an insecure middle child)
Barbie is not hot. Believe me, she’s just another Paris Hilton hosting all those white trash parties. If you love melting plastic materials, then you must love killing Barbie (and hopefully Hilton). Don’t mind Ken, he’s a no good guy. If you have been playing Barbie dolls when you were younger, then this too along with the other normal little girls, is your revenge. And if you are one of those brothers of the little girls who used to pull off Barbie’s arms and legs, cut her blonde hair and burned her body in the campfire, then you deserve a little reward.
It was reported that Barbie dolls have lead content that can cause brain damage. As Jay Leno said if your little girl is playing Barbie dolls, then most probably your kid is going to end up like Barbie. Now I won’t make Jay Leno shut up, I must admit, he has a point. Bringing back old times with Barbie dolls? Well, they just rekindle stupid memories when you once wished you were pretty like Barbie but you can’t be pretty because you have pimples and you’re not skinny.
Here are some reasons why you should hate Barbie
1. Barbie influences the little girls with these wrong ideas about being a woman. 1. That women are only considered beautiful when they’re skinny, blonde, long-haired and long-legged; 2. That beautiful women must wear skirts and fabulous dresses to be loved by boys. Indeed, Barbie set the standard of what is a beautiful woman.
2. Barbie pushes the girls to reach their puberty at an early stage – wear make up and get more boys. Barbie steals their childhood experiences. Daddy’s little girl is off wandering in the streets for boys. Also, expect her to skip dinner because she’s on a diet.
3. Barbie influences the girls that the girls are just created by God to put on some makeup, some nice gowns, skimpy skirts, halter tops and low neckline dresses everyday of their lives and their worries only include cosmetics and hair salons. And the worries about the world of politics and economics? Barbie should have clearly pointed out to leave it to the male species.
If you’re still not completely motivated, then you need to drink some soda and sushi to awaken your senses. And if you’re wondering if I ever played with Barbie way back when I was a sweet little girl, the answer is yes, every girl does. Every girl is Barbie’s victim so don’t ask me why I am so pissed off with Barbie.
Now I am on a quest to kill Barbie in our pop culture and bury her where no little girl can ever find her again. Finally, every little girl’s sweet revenge.